My vein.

I love school.
I always want to be in school.
This city needs improvement.
It needs awareness of its capacities.
The sarcasm and stereotypes about El Paso residents is really annoying and sadly also very true.
It's too broad and I personally don't think I stand in that general category.
Seriously I'm going to be as completely honest as I can be to everyone, begining with myself. I'm not going to fake enjoying my presence around someone I think is an idiot or wrong. There's nothing wrong in a friendly debate, right? It's so annoying that I've always been that way and I'm so fed up with it!
On the outside I'm passive, so passive..but it masks my laziness to speak because no one sticks around long enough to listen. It' always so back and forth.
I believe in myself man, I don't know if I believe in anything else here but i do believe in me and that's fucking all I should care about. That and Gabe, I want to put my face in his caved chest again I've never been so comfortable with anyone. It's incredible, this feeling. While some people find it silly, ha-ha I don't care!
No one cares that I care and I understand that and that's why I laugh.
Philosophy is ruling my brain right now, it's awesome. Egoism sucks! But I'm looking out for my best interest now.I will gain satisfaction helping people and situations that need the guidance or motivation to succeed. I'm not known for doing any of that but there's little any one knows about what I can do. Actually anyone can but it's my drive and my calling i think.
i had an epiphany last night.
And now I don't want to fear anything. So take me on!
Anyway.... I cut my own hair shortly before my ephiphany.


some may call it an identity crisis.(before)

and after...

(my rusty photoshop skills, it's been a while my love.)
They are way shorter than I intended them to be.
So I'm going to be Lydia Deetz again for Eriks Costume party this weekend.
but blah I'm less and less bitter as the days pass.
I'm sort of sorry for being socially awkward these past few year but I find it really funny when everyone pretends to hear or gets frustrated haha.
It's actually pretty tragic but I'm over it and working on that.
Oh yeah if you havent' seen this video already you shoud fucking see it, it's Devendra Banharts new music video for "carmensita" And his recently ex gf Natalie Portman is in it. It's all Bollywooded out,right? i dunno that's what i would describe it as.